Trust

What is it and how do I know I can trust you?

Once trust is lost or broken, it is difficult to gain or rebuild.

It takes trust to build trust: a ‘counter-intuitive’ thought.

Since the beginning of this year 2011, I have had more than a few conversations with more than a few individuals on the topic of trust. In each of these conversations the dialogue started by the individual saying, “I just am not sure I can trust …my brother; my colleague; my business partner; my employee…”

When pushed for details as to why there is not a feeling of “trust” it was difficult for each individual to really articulate their feeling, but the feeling was definitely present and as we discussed the foundation of the mistrust, there was often a sense of misaligned expectations. If we define trust as the reliance and confidence in the other individual to meet our expectations, the expectations must be communicated and understood, explicitly and implicitly. To build a solid trusting relationship requires both time and proximity.

A friend of mine, Dr. Jay Desko, developed a 4-C model of trust that provides a starting point for a conversation.

Our expectations are viewed through our lens of how we perceive the other individual’s character, concern, communication, and competency.

Does the other individual reflect the 4-Cs?

- Character: A reliance on the honesty, fairness, hard work of the other…

- Concern: An interest or the importance of others, the family, the business…

- Communication: A consistent and intentional and effective interaction for clarifying expectation, feedback, disclosing feelings, explain changes, share perceptions

- Competency: A capacity to perform the task or role at an acceptable level of proficiency

There are several ways we can begin to understand what we mean when we say, “I don’t trust…”

Developing trust requires reliably meeting the expectations of others in the 4-Cs.

How are we as a Business Family doing in cultivating trust?